So many...



1. Why do I let Bulimia control me?
2. Even though I know the reasons why I have bulimia, why do I cling on to it?
3. When everything in my life is going great, why can't I enjoy it?
4. How can anyone else love me if I don't love myself?
5. Why is it all I see is fat?
6. How do I justify my behaviour even though I know it is wrong?
7. What kind of a role model am I for my son?
8. Why can't I be normal?
9. When will I beat this?
10. Why can't I stay the weight I want to be?

These are just some of the questions I ask myself daily, and even though I know some of the answers they don't sink in. The answers are not necessarily what I want to hear - I have controlled my thought processes for so long now to make myself believe things that are not true, that I think irrationally.

How do I change this? I have my next therapy session next week and we will be going through some of these questions - I'll let you know what outcomes we have.

One thing I have learnt is that nobody can save me, I have to save myself. The ED has stayed with me so long because I have let it, I am the only one who can let it go.

Love Genie x